The Village Chat Parts 9&10: Everybody’s A Secret Baby!

Posted by Stephanie on November 12, 2015


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Another big set of episodes for us here! I can’t believe we’re–while not in the final stretch–we are more than half way through–and they seem to have saved lots of twists and turns for us.

*Side note, this show is getting CRAZY! So unless you’ve watched these episodes, this chat might not make sense–because we’re trying to make sense of a show that just doesn’t. (In a good way.)

Stephanie: Good news! Last two episodes were not a fluke and the drama crazy train is on an upswing! Bad news? It’s making it harder and harder to figure out what in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is going on!

Jacqueline: Well holy hell-crap, that was a metric ass ton of drama-shenanigans! You ain’t wrong, ‘cause I feel like I got mental-whiplash in trying to work out just what the what is going on in this show. All I DO know? Dramaland loves playing genetic-lottery with its birth secrets! Because dude, three words; Pervy Art Teacher.

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Stephanie: This might be the birth secret show to end alllll birth secret shows. You’ve got a birth secret! And you’ve got a birth secret! And you…. So in this one episode we find out that (possibly) the siblings in this family are Artist, Pharmacist, Dead Girl, Crazy Student, and now, possibly Pervy Art Teacher? Someone has been a busy, busy boy (or girl).

Jacqueline: EVERYBODY GETS A BIRTH SECRET! Mr. Wang really should go put away his wang…wait, sorry. No. I’m a terrible human being for making that joke. But c’mon, evil Mr. Politician Dude brought it on himself. This guy almost certainly made his ex-employee go kablooey in an explosion. You know, for such a “sleepy town dead-body-figure-it-out murder mystery,” this show is wracking up the kill count.

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Stephanie: Well here’s the thing, as we learned in one of the shockers of this episode is that the lady in the wheelchair who we were introduced to at the end of the last episode, is not just the Artist’s and the Pharmacist’s mom, she is also the missing baby broker, AND now we learn that she is supposed to be Dead Girl’s mom! Dun, DUn, DUN! Holy smokes Batman, that was a big aha! moment, but here’s the thing–I think she is still just covering for the Artist, pretending to be the mother of Dead Girl to allow the daughter to marry the politician. So, she’s responsible for like half of those secret babies. Although wait!?! They are going on the idea that the dead girl and the crazy student are related because of the birthmarks, how could that be? Did I just poke a hole in their plot?

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Jacqueline: That momma got around, and that’s not slut-shaming, ‘cause she abandoned her baby so it’s shit-human-being shaming. Me personally, I’m not getting the vibe she’s not the Artist’s mom, but I am getting the “drama you don’t understand how birthmarks work” vibe. This whole hemangioma obsession hopefully won’t be the “Hey, here’s our proof-that’s-not-proof of Character X, Y, and Z winning Guess The Parent game.” My theory? It’s gonna be that random disease-that’s-deadly-but-not-deadly our dead sister was rocking. It’s genetic, so much like the time capsule, I’m sure it’s gonna pop back up like a whack-a-mole…like Walnut Guy! Drama I am onto you, what with your Ep 10 ending in another “He’s the Murderer AHHHH!” lead up, and just no. No he’s not, drama. Quit lying.

Stephanie: But if they both have the birth mark they have to be related by blood (although yes, I’m pretty freaking sure birthmarks don’t actually work that way either, drama writers) then they would most likely have the same father? And that just can’t be right. Maybe the whole birthmark thing is a red herring, that doctor who was just introduced is going to come in and slap some people saying “Dummies, no, that’s not how birthmarks work!”? And okay, the dead girl thought she and the pervy art teacher were related? Then again, that would HAVE to be on the fathers side because then he would be in a relationship with his aunt? I mean he did ask her to marry him. GAH! This show is making my brain melt. Oddly still in a good way though.

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Jacqueline: One, I’m not so sure if they (crazy high-school girl and dead sister AND potentially Pervy Art Teacher) were related, would they automatically have the same daddy dearest? I mean, Pharmacist and Artist didn’t, so who’s to say the baby-dealer momma didn’t get around and around, and around? As for Pervy Art Teacher having possibly rocked some incest with his Pharmacist girlfriend/prospective aunt, do we know that he knows who are his parents? Maybe he’s in a deep dark hole of denial? I mean, he is fixated on just hauling ass out of the city, crying and begging Pharmacist to skip town (who apparently wants her sister’s company…SOOO surprising, wow much shock didn’t see that one coming…((is my sarcasm loud enough?)) Pervy Art Teacher is obviously running away from something, possibly the big bad scary truth he suspects but ain’t nobody got time for? Man, talk about good brain melt, ‘cause the plot is all a’plottin’ away! I just wish this show would slow down and give us some time to breathe between each Mystery Theater rendition. And, I don’t know, actually give the characters some more time to be characters?

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Stephanie: I really think that Dead Girl is the daughter of the artist and not the artist’s mother. It makes sense in the context of what we know of the rest of the story. The artist did something bad to a kid of hers and it was so important for everyone in the family, for her to marry up, I wouldn’t put it past a woman who was already illegally selling children to rid herself of an unwanted kid. (Especially since she knew what it was like to have kids looked down on by the town–she’d want more for her daughter.) But alllll of these other possible relations? Just keep blowing my mind.

Jacqueline: GOOD POINT! See, that’s my complaint/non-complaint about this drama…it’s thrown so much at the wall with all the crayons and glitter stickers that my brain forgot to brain about our previous “Hey, dead sis is likely artist’s kid” theory. Though, there WAS that random flashback/hallucination of a young kid Crazy Artist Lady had in last week’s episode. But, then again, she IS being bombarded with obsessive “Hye Jin” name-hearing. After all that I mean, good gravy, man; I ain’t got a clue as to who popped who out of whose vagina. All I do know? I’m kinda digging this show. The pacing has definitely been improving, so if the show-runners would just ease off the throttle, then I’d be able to catch my breath and enjoy it even more. I will say this for The Village…Predictable, it isn’t.

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Stephanie: I STILL have no idea who done it! I can see why so many people at that time wanted to kill , but who actually did it? No idea! Especially trying to figure out where the congressman (?) fits into all of it. Unless he is the actual father and our politician is just covering everything up to help is career? And this isn’t even everything we found outthis episode! Crazy Student finally pulled her “Teacher sexually assaulted me” card, and thanks to our heroines backbone (which has mercifully stuck around) didn’t stick. Ew. Dude. Are they siblings? GAH, I have to get off the baby secrets! Help, Jacqueline, change the subject–STAT!!

Jacqueline: It’s a small incest-land, after all! *insert maniacal laughter here.* Okay, I’ll play nice…TOPIC CHANGE! How ‘bout Mr. Serial Killer coming back to play? Am I the only one who is getting really irritated with that plot-line? It’s like, okay drama, you’ve done a fan-girl good for a bit, but please calm it with your killing-peeps fetish. It’s like anytime this show doesn’t have a cliffhanger to end it on, somebody gets axed in the face. I don’t think the person who killed our dead sister is gonna be the same psycho who has the murder-hobby, for I’m confident our Sherlock and Holmes will figure it out, BUT OOOH NOOOOS! Mr. Police Chief got canned, which makes me sad. This writer better not be shuffling him out of the drama, ‘cause I’ll go from sad to mad in 0.5 nothings.

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Stephanie: I wouldn’t worry too much about him, we thought walnut guy was gone but he’s managed to linger around–although I’m thinking the Chief is not as big of a character as Walnut Guy. 1) Again, I love the policeman so hard. He and his little detective work that could. When he had his big speech talking about how his long dead girl was just as important as the head detectives freshly dead girls–I oddly felt so proud of him! 2) The end of the episode cliffhanger. I totally think that is a red herring! I don’t think Walnut Guy is the serial killer-as that is too expected. Plus, (putting on the Sherlock hat) the girl was running away in the opposite direction of where she bumped into him. I think the serial killer is his old friend–the one who tried to pay him off–saying he didn’t do ‘that’ anymore.

Jacqueline: Exactly. I knew from jump Walnut Guy is not the killer, but the drama so badly wants us to think he is because ooooh cross-dressing equals BAD. I definitely, DEFINITELY am siding with your theory, too, in that I’m thinking the dude who came back to town and took over the lumber mill with his 2.5 kids and white picket fence is looking like the murderer. Let’s just PRAY our drama doesn’t throw Walnut Guy under the boss by him getting caught in the crossfire when Mr. Murderer gets busted.

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Stephanie: We know that someone from our more important cast of characters has to be murdered by the end, right? Now it’s just speculating as to who it will be. And unfortunately, I’m thinking it’s going to be Walnut Guy. He’s a big character, but not toooo important. Although it may make sense for it to be a lady with the rainy Wednesday murder-rapist hanging about. I also like the idea that Brother is getting wise to his family–or at least to his dad–but he doesn’t seem to be turning away from the Artist/stepmother as much as I’d hoped. He still seems to be holding onto her–or the person he wants her to be.

Jacqueline: I have a bad feeling Walnut Guy IS going to die, just because the poor guy is walking around with a target painted on his back. If it’s gonna be a chick that gets dead, my best guess will likely be crazy high-school girl or crazy high-school girl’s mom. I’m also LOVING the development we’ve been getting with Brother, because it’s so obvious he’s slowly growing disgusted with his cray-cray family. I don’t think he’s quite prepared to turn his back on Artist/stepmom just yet, because he’s not ready. Poor deluded idgit is still holding onto the last vestiges of his love for mommy dearest that should not be named. Though, to be fair, we’ve only been given the SLIGHTEST suggestion that’s where he dips his ice cream cone, but apparently his forbidden love is gonna come out into the danger zone, what with Crazy High-school Chick having gone full psycho. Girl’s apparently going to blast her photo of those two cry-hugging, and more plot shall be had, I’m sure!

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Stephanie: Yes, lots more crazy-pants crazy to come! And I for one am looking super forward to it!

Jacqueline: Gimme more crazy, drama. Just don’t hurt me. Please.


Like Jacqueline? Check out her
Fangirl Musings (YouTube)
Diehard Fangirl (Tumblr)

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