So many years ago, ten to be exact, I became wrapped into an obsession called Kdrama. It was an obsession, one that for the most part didn’t go over well with the people I knew. Seemingly locked down in a small town in New Hampshire, there was nowhere for me to go to talk about my newfound love. Back in the day, I was a very different person than I am now. I want to say I look back fondly at that person, but mostly I want to comfort that person, tell her cliche though it is, it gets better. You can be better, you can DO better.
With no expectation that I would keep it up, as I’d started several blogs beforehand only to lose interest a few posts in, I created the first site, Crazy For Kdrama and poured all my heart, thoughts, and wishes into it. Reviews, casting news, talking about what shows I was thinking about picking up, and finally, once Kpop finally hooked me in, music posts.
Surprise surprise, the site actually took off. I had an audience, a small one, but people were interested in what I had to say. Me, a nobody from New Hampshire. I remember the first day I reached 100 hits in a single day. My friend Jami patiently waited with me as the views ticked higher and higher, cheering at everyone. From there I got a regular stream of commenters, and many of those turned into people I knew, and then friends. Some of those friends helped me change my life, helped me realize the potential I had within myself. Though hard, very hard at times, this site and you readers gave me the push, the confidence I needed to get out of New Hampshire, to move to New York on my own, where I met and made more friends, and once I was done there, it was these friends who helped me realize it was time to let go, to try a new adventure.
This site, my friends, became a safety net I never had before.
Now, though, ten years later, I’m in a position where I need to make another hard decision. It’s time to let Kchat Jjigae go. Gah. Those words are hard to say and even harder to stick to. Kchat is what I do, is who I am. And yet, all this time I’ve come to the realization, it isn’t. Or it isn’t anymore. I used to write every day. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I had THAT much to say. Or just needed people to listen to me, listen to my opinion THAT much. Now I have real-life obligations, a job I love that comes with its own hours and tribulations, challenges I’ve set for to further educate myself to be even better, even more indispensable. Then there are my personal obligations. I have friends now, friends who are my family, people I’ve met because of directly or indirectly the site to who I want to be a better friend to. If I’ve learned anything with Crazy/Kchat, anything is possible, it just requires time, effort, and attention.
Half-assing, be it the site, be it my work, be it my friendships, gets you nowhere you want to be.
So it’s time to go. But as dearest Jami said, I’m not going to let Kchat whimper off into the night. Nope, this grand old girl deserves the send-off she deserves. For the next month I’m going to do my very best to provide some great content, be it new stuff, retrospectives, or as this site has always been whatever I wanted it to be, I expect it to go out much the same, doing whatever posts tickle my fancy.
To anyone who reads this post. Thank you. For this post or any post previously. Thank you for being there. Thank you for helping me become the person I am now. Here’s hoping you have your own thing that makes you happy, that helps you grow. Here’s hoping you make some great friends along the way. Here’s to being the best versions of ourselves we can be at this moment, but still aiming for more.
Love and Backhugs,